He points out that with people who are unfamiliar:
“We must void staring at them, and yet we must also avoid ignoring them… We look at them long enough to make it quite clear that we see them, and then we immediately look away.
The re are different formulas for the exchange of glances depending on where the meeting takes place. If you pass someone in the street you may eye the oncoming person till you are about eight feet apart, then you must look away as you pass. Before the eight-foot distance is reached, each will signal in which direction he will pass. This is done with a brief look in that direction. Each will veer slightly, and the passing is done smoothly.”
In conversations with people who know each other, however, American custom demands that there should be eye contact. This applies to both the speaker and the listener. For either one not to look at the other person could imply a number of things, among which are fear, contempt, uneasiness, guilt, indifference, even in public speaking there should be plenty of eye contact. For a speaker to “burry his nose in his manuscript”, to read a speech instead of looking at and talking to hid audience, as some Chinese speakers are in the habit of doing, would be regarded as inconsiderate and disrespectful.
In conversation, a person shows that he is listening by looking at the other person’s eyes or face. If the other person is speaking at some length, the listener will occasionally make sounds like “Hmm”, “Ummm”, or nod his head to indicate his attention. If he agrees with the speaker, he may nod or smile. If he disagrees or has some reservations, he may slant his head to one side, raise an eyebrow, have a quizzical look.
Staring at people or holding a glance too long is considered improper in English-speaking countries. Even when the look may be one of appreciation—as of beauty—it may make people uneasy and embarrassed. Many Americans traveling abroad find the stares of the local people irritating. They become extremely self-conscious and often end up quite indignant about the “rudeness” of the people there, not realizing that the practice may be quite common in the country and may be nothing more than curiosity. Many English-speaking people in china have heard to complain about this.
“The language of the eyes”—one of the most common and ancient ways of exchanging feelings between boys and girls, men and women—is especially elaborate in the United States. Much study has been made of this: how people of the opposite sex show interest or indifference, encouragement or discouragement, approval or disapproval, affection or aversion. However , there are many differences even within the United States. Men use their eyes in different ways than women; there are differences of age, class or social status and geographical region; there are differences of ethnic background.
The story is told of a teenage Puerto Rican girl in a New York high school who was taken with a number of other girls to the principal for suspected smoking. Although there was no proof of any wrongdoing and although she had a good record, the principal decided she was guilty and suspended her. “There was something sly and suspicious about her,” he said in his report. “She just wouldn’t meet my eye. She wouldn’t look at me.”
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关于改革我国中学英语教育的思考
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